A Poem to a Friend

What is friendship really?
What is love really?
Are they different?

Are there different types of love?
Is there no greater love
No greater desire
Than the dissolution of the many into the one
Through the union of man and woman
In intimate embrace?

But where does marriage fit in?
What does that entail really?
For those who have gone down
That long and desolate road before
(and to be fair joyous and remarkable as well)
There are many pitfalls
And one thing is for sure
That it is most definitely not
What those have never been married
Would like to believe it is
When the white dress is put on
And the vows are stated
In the house of God
Born witness by friends and family

But then we reach an interesting place
After this romantic dream dissolves
Into the reality of the illusion it always was
And the lover and the beloved leave each other
For greener pastures
Or for whatever reason
And the two are no longer one
But something quite less than two
But still more than just two individuals

And in this place
Friendship takes on a new meaning
Where love and intimacy
Have the chance
To evolve to something different
Even while all the while
The base creative urge which rests in all of us
Must be met
And for some this urge
Is stronger and more important
In the dynamics of love
Than others no doubt

But we are all human after all
Designed to procreate
And virtually our entire biological structure
Is designed for this purpose
And for the most part
Drives the behavior of the entire human race

Quest for power and money
Lust and Greed as Ramakrishna called it
Kama-Kanchana (lit. Lust and Gold)
It moves the world
And all its creatures with it

And yet in the setting sun of our lives
As the darkness of sunset approaches far in the horizon
Friendship then
Cooperation with colleagues
Harmony and balance in one’s personal life
Fulfillment of responsibilities
For those that came before us
And for those that follow in our footsteps
Become not secondary goals in life
But THE driving purpose of existence

But a lover is in a different category no doubt
Matters of the heart are different
They reach deeper into the soul
And because of of this elementary truth
They cut much deeper
As deep in fact
As to the height of spirit that is reached
When the lover and the beloved
Are strung along the same thread
And follow the same energy
That connects everything to everyone
And everyone to everything
In the bliss of union
Which is a gift from God like no other
It was in fact
The Apple that was eaten
By Adam in the Garden
Lured by the snake of temptation
This is why we were cast out remember?
Think think think
The very core of the creation story
Is the Fall of Man

But sometimes, just sometimes
When the snake is not bemoaned
When it is not cursed and smothered
By the guilt in our deepest consciousness
And it is accepted for what it is
Another creation of the divine
That is to be worshipped alongside of
And as part of
The great creation within which we reside

In this world
These lines between friend and lover
Can sometimes be
And in fact in almost all cases are
Blurred and blended in a cosmic mix
Of delight and anger
Suffering and angst
Joy and bliss

And as this friend and lover
Distinction starts to blur
Or as it evolves and changes
From one to the other
Or something in between

Or perhaps maybe
With a lover and a beloved
There is always a little of both
To some greater or lesser extent
Depending on where they are
In the pace and evolution
Of their own individual lives

But here’s the thing
Many things we want to be just can’t
And sometimes what we’re left with
Is not precisely what we wanted
But as the Rolling Stones so aptly put it

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
You just might find
You get what you need

Embrace it
Cherish it
Nourish it
Grow it
Whatever ‘it’ is

And let be what is to be
Instead of boxing what is
Into what you envisioned it to be
Before it ever was
And after it will never be

And however large and expansive
You can extend your love
To the beloved of the world
Is there no greater measure than this?

Respect
Dignity
Grace
Love
Peace
Bliss

This is what I feel
This is what i yearn for
This is what I search for
This is what we all search for

So join me in this journey
In whatever way you can
Such that we do not have to go at it alone
And we can give each other
Some comfort along the way perhaps

A shoulder to lean on
A kiss to lean into
An embrace to instill
Our separate but connected
Warmth and compassion
Upon each other

And see flashes of light
In the darkness
To inspire us to press on
And see the beauty and glory
In the greatest gift of all
Life itself